The Nak™ in the USA

Drumroll please...

2009-09-01T23:29:00.000-07:00

For all the ladies out there...
Im gonna name my wang 'Anesthesia'...
cuz when its in you,
you dont feel a thing...

buh dum dum...

Who's Underwear is Under There

2009-06-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

When I first heard UnderArmour™ I thought it was some kind of brief with padding in the balls area, not some tight shirt. I was thinking about this one day a cpl yrs back and thought about the underwear i used to wear as a kid and the underwear i wear now (on those days where I do wear underwear).

Why do little kids get to wear awesome underwear and we adults are stuck wearing these boring ass plain underwear. We get boxers or briefs in regular colors. At least girls have some variety in their choices - boxers, boxer-briefs, briefs, grandma panties, thongs, g-strings, assless chaps, etc.

The time for the listless cotton oppression of my genitals must end... I want to wear those cool underwears that I had as a kid... with Spiderman... or He-man... or Superman... or your mom's face, on it. Those were the good old days. Just because I'm not a kid anymore, doesn't mean I can't appreciate having a superhero on my jock, literally.

Then again... when I was a kid I didn't have to worry about whether or not getting a boner and having a half-mast stiffy firmly pressing against Skeletor's face would make me feel gay...

Shit... I didn't think about this possibility. But I'm also not about to let my dream of wearing superhero underwear again fall by the wayside. Not this easily. OK. OK... what if - I wear... WONDERWOMAN UNDERWEAR! That's even gayer isn't it. Well fuck me gently.

OK, the plan is on hiatus for now... but not laid to rest. We'll figure this out people. Until then, I'll try to find some Lucas. It's delicious. And a staple in the barrio. Act like you know son.

My New Tattoos!

2008-12-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

Sup Howdy Bloggerythmics!

Now I've always been a huge fan of tattoos. They look super hot on chicks, and super cool on guys - if done right. Of course no amount of detail, good coloring, or placement can save a tattoo done in poor taste. Fortunately the tattoos at hand got taste coming outta their ass like they were the dish that just won Iron Chef.

Again, I've always wanted tattoos... but I wanted to make sure they really meant something to me, and would always remain dear to my heart. I wanted something that touched upon my many cultures, my life experiences, who my family and friends are, and ultimately who I am - not to mention what I'm about. It's been a long time coming, as I've wanted them since middle school. I've spent decades pondering these issues and trying to find the perfect tattoo design(s). If you don't know what you want, you're not ready to get a tattoo!

That's why I'm proud to announce that I finally popped my ink cherry and got some wicked sick tattoos. Note: My skin looks really white, pasty, and untanned in these photos - fear not, I don't have that Michael Jackson skin disease where you keep getting whiter. It's just the really strong lighting that make it appear that way. I mean there were so many paparazzi there with so many flash bulbs I felt like white fireworks were going off in the room.

And now, TADA! On to the pictures!

(Front)

Ka-Blamo! What's the coolest thing on earth? ICE!! That's why they call me Mr. Cool Ice. It has to say Mr. Cool Ice, cuz if it just said Mr. Cool you'd be like ok but thats kind of boring. Also Snoopy did some shit like that and I gotta 110% original, bitch. And if it just said Mr. Ice, you'd be like what's that? Do you pave snowy driveways? Dip your balls in my beverage to make it cold and refreshing? "Mr. Cool AS Ice" would just be a little too long, and too grammatically correct... which is quite the opposite of cool.

Now, of course the skeleton and many skulls with sunglasses also scream COOL ICE! Of course they do silly goose, that's the point! Why are there cracks in the skeleton man's skull? I dunno, maybe hes so cool that he's starting crack, htf should I know, wanna fight about it? And then it says ICE everywhere in case you forgot JUST HOW COOL I am.

Not enough sunglassed skulls for your taste? Worry not, my sweet little enchiladas... I also had them tat another one on the tip of my johnson. It's pretty awesome, now it's like I have a 2" battering ram with a cool-guy skull at the end. For good measure, I tatted sunglasses over my balls as well.

(Back)

Now you're probably like, "Holy Shit, I jizzed in my pants at the mere sight of your frontal ink and you got work done on the back too? Fuck, that looks so bad ass I just shat AND pissed myself at the same time in a whirlwind of envy!" You might also be like, "No, it can't be... coolness overload!" Yea that's right... those are sunglasses tatted on the back of my head. Cuz every cool guy worth his popularity in salt wears sunglasses in the back when he needs a quick boost in awesome-points... but only the baddest of the ass (yea I said baddest of the ass) can wear sunglasses MADE OF INK!

I feel kind of sorry for Kumar in the background getting some ink done. You can probably tell by the look on his face what he's thinking. He was saying, "FUCK ME! Why did I have to start getting inked AFTER I saw your design!?!?! I should have waited so I could have tattoos as bad ass as yours!" I don't blame him, but the porno / hentai version of the Vishnu he ended up getting on his back was all right too, I guess.

Anyways, I'm excited to have been able to share my awesome new tattoos with you all! I gotta go now though, Rite Aid wants to talk to me about my interest in some kind of possible advertising work in their frozen section, whatever that's about.

-Nak signing out, I mean... Mr. COOL ICE!!! Meltin' on outta here!!! Aaahahahahahahahahahaha. I'm so fuckin awesome it hurts.

Complain Train - Kiss My Caboose

2008-12-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

So I've been on the complain train lately, with my latest post about how the Spork is gettin no love. Well come on ride it, c'mon ride the train. Today I'm going to talk about someone who has fallen off the face of the earth, but never deserved to be on it in the first place. I hope he ended on the ass of the earth in fact, and by the look of it, his face may very well be the ass of the earth.

I'm talking about Mickey Fucking Avalon. I mean, for fuck's sake... I don't even know what to say. I've heard multiple women talk about this guy being hot, and it's kind of gross. I mean, here:

If ingrown hairs and body and face acne turn you on, I guess I can see it... But if you ask me that's just fucking nasty.

I mean, if you can genuinely be turned on by the thought of looking down between your legs and seeing this guy down there, well congratulations. You probably already had crabs and the clap, now you have Herpes too. But that probably also turns you on.

Hi, I'm "Domestic Abuse Raggedy Anne" and I want to give you an STD cocktail!

On top of that, he has a song called "My Dick"... I won't go into anymore detail than to say the lyrics of the song are about -10% true. I remember seeing this Boost mobile commercial with some real hip-hop artists in it - Jermaine Dupri and Young Jeezy, and then all of the sudden they bring in Mickey Fucking Avalon as if he fits the gangster rapper mold. To top it off, he looks gayer and more non-hip-hop than anyone ever could have made him look if they were actually trying. It was really something else. Here's the video:

Oh, hold on someone is knocking at the door.

(Hello Satan... oh sorry Mickey... I... thought you were someone else)
Hey guys, look... I gotta go. There's someone at the door and he's mad. He's also wearing makeup, smells of B.O., has dirty long red hair, has no shirt on to hide his feminine torso, and is wearing tight jeans sagged down to his worm. I'll catch up with you guys later.

I Ain't a Hater Like You, So Bow Down to a Utensil That's Greater Than You

2008-12-07T00:59:00.000-08:00

You know, I feel like there's a bigtime underground player out there that doesn't get the love and respect he deserves. Once a major player on the field, topping the charts, piling up the stats, being talked about at the water cooler and in social circles amongst the youth. It's time to revive this bad boy from the dead...

You're probably thinking you know where I'm going,
You: "oh yea man, Tupac been down for years."
Nak: "Nawwww son."
You: "Aww shii... Notorious B.I.G.!"
Nak: "Naw duuu... I'm talking bout the mothafuckin' SPORK bitch."

That's right, the spork. You know everybody who was ANYBODY was eating their lunch with a spork back in elementary and middle school. All those zealous campers who wanted the power of two utensils in one sleek, shiny, can't-fuck-with-me utensil knew what was up.

If you aren't in the know with the spork, first slap yourself in the face. No harder, you deserve worse for your ignorance. OK, now educate yourself bitches:
Da' SPORK

Do I need to draw you a picture? Here...
(P.S. Pay no attention to the sausage-fingered toolbox who is holding the spork. He probably doesn't even deserve to hold a spork, but there's nothing I can do to stop him because I don't know wtf he is, the picture has already been taken, and he may be halfway to Germany by now for all I know. Just give it up, OK? It's too late now)

In conclusion, the spork is poised to run the mothafuckin' game from here on out. So fuck non-spork utensils as a staff, record-label, AND as a muthafuckin' crew... and if you wanna be down with non-spork utensils, fuck you too. Regular fork... fuck you too... Spoon and knife, fuck you too... fuck all yall muthafuckaz... my 44 make sure all yo' utensils dont grow. You motherfuckers cant be us or see us. We fucking thug spork riders, spork-side till we die!

Él Fín.

Pulse

2008-12-06T00:17:00.001-08:00

_X_ Alive
___ Dead

No More Riding the Bus to the Old Member's Only™ Warehouse

2008-03-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

Hola my Wesley Willis' - what's crackin? What's crackalackin? What's Lackacrackin? ... good day to you, sirs... How have you been since my last post?

Well that was... more of a rhetorical question, but...
I'm sorry to hear that and I'm sure that it's just like ... a temporary heat rash or something and will go away soon. Just to be safe though, you should tell that girl from the bar last night about it so you're on the same page there.

Anyway, I have wonderful news for all my fans. No longer does the Nak have to take public transportation to his photo shoots! You got that right. Next time a homeless guy is caught masturbating on the Metro bus, I won't be there to see it. By saving up the money I've made from 310 Photography, doing catalog work, fashion runway work, my latest motion picture appearance in Pepé's Cinco (and NOT gay porn), I was able to buy a new car.

Here's a poor quality picture of it. It's in poor lighting, is a bit grainy and looks like it was edited with Mattel's version of "My First Photoshop" or something, but hey... at least it's not gay porn.

You can see more about them here. I got the 3.5 SE

Perhaps now I can draw the attention of young women at shopping malls and such... instead of only drawing the attention of old hispanic men on the freeway on-ramp, who look like my grandpa but with a bushy mustache and are trying to sell me oranges, or roses, or oranges and roses, unless they're all sold out - in which case they are trying to sell me colorful rugs with old Looney Toones® characters on them.

Anyways I'm so excited about it that I thought I would share. Once I paint some decals and graphics on there - like a moon-walking Michael Jackson, a full-color Sonic the Hedgehog, some corporate logos (like the ads on those NASCAR rides), gay porn starring Mickey Avalon (because that's what he's all about), pink flames, my face in technicolor, and an airbrushed lesbian sex-scene on the hood - I'll be ready to hit the streets and some mailboxes and light-poles (cuz I'm half asian).

If you don't see another blog post from me by no later than Friday... just wait longer. See you next time.

310 PHOTOGRAPHY (dot com)

2008-03-04T22:53:00.000-08:00

By now you should know that I'm a male model and that I do my little thing on the catwalk... if you don't, then you haven't been reading my blog at all, or ever, not even once, and you should die a horrible horrible death. If you have, then please kill that asshole next to you that I was referring to in the previous sentence, then read on.

Today I'm blogging in a karate outfit. That's called a "gi" if you are just too ignant and don't know. Or maybe you just choose not to know because you hate "Orientals" and their slanty eyes, dragging feet, large spoiler adorned rice-rockets, thousands of fluffy stuffed animals often found smashed up against the rear windows of said rice-rockets, daily SAT study classes, Tag Heuer watches, dishwashers that are only used for drying dishes, anime, chopsticks, lychee flavored candies and jellies, boba, tiger balm, korean dramas, karaoke, bowl cuts / feathered hair / red highlights, hello kitty, cell-phone charms, long bangs, peace signs in pictures, etc.

... If that's the case then you're racist and I being an asian, and associating with all of those things, am offended. But that is neither here nor there.

The point of this post is to introduce you, my readership base, to 310 photography. All 3 of you.

310 Photography is the new hotness, ruining more young women's panties than TigerBeat and I felt obliged to let you know. Forged in the hot coals of the old members only warehouse, it was founded by the top male models of the millenium - Chastel and The Nak™.

Here is a photo of them from a photo Op from a recent movie they shot together -

Yea it's kind of a gay picture, but this IS male modeling we're talking about here. Such artistry cannot be defined, confined, or restricted by the shackles of discrete sexuality or narrow mindedness. Women want them and men want to be them... and uhhh, dogs and cats and other pets want them to be their masters.

While I'm hardly ever serious, I am serious when I say that this is a quality shindig and 310 is very into what they do. Now I wouldn't believe anything the nak says without some fact-checking either, but you can check out some sample work at the website (it will be up soon if you just visited it immediately after this blog was posted and it was under construction) -

310 PHOTOGRAPHY - Serving the South Bay and the Globe

You can find them on ModelMayhem also, if you want.
Model Mayhem

Thanks for visiting and come back soon!

Also feel free to email any nude, risque photos of yourself to nak@310photography.com.

I'm just kidding... unless you're gonna do it.

Actor / Model (And Not The Other Way Around)

2008-03-03T20:45:00.000-08:00

Sup Howdy Kentucky Fried Chikadeez,

Now for the few of you have been reading my blog since 2004, you know that I took home male model of the year three times, being unseated by Chastel back in '02... Well I just want you to know that just because I haven't been consistently dropping blogs over Baghdad doesn't mean I stopped being really, really, ridiculously good looking. I didn't stop posing in front of shuttering cameras either. I have however started prancing about in front of rolling cameras (The ones with the actual hand crank on the side because I'm talking such low budget flicks here that I was getting paid in food stamps and tic-tacs).

I have to go to the bathroom right now, but I'd love to continue talking about this conversation when I get back
...
Ok I'm back. I thought I'd share my latest work with you guys. I recently had shoulder surgery, so I wasn't able to do any sports or action shoots after that, but I was still able to find work.

Here is my first appearance in an action motion picture. I did it at the end of 2007, just before my shoulder surgery, so I could do my own stunts (and super wicked dance moves).

It was a Made-For-TV, B-list knockoff of Ocean's Eleven, filmed by Director Beto Juarez Estavez III.

They originally had pegged Antonio Banderas as their first choice but they couldn't get him. I ended up with the gig after their 32nd choice fell through and I begged them to give me the work cuz I needed the money to feed my addiction to faberge eggs.

It is also worth noting that Edward James Olmos, Selma Hayek, John Leguizamo, Wilmer Valderrama and Danny Trejo all were contacted to audition, but threatened to sue if their names were, in any way shape or form, tied to the making of this film... except John Leguizamo. He came in and auditioned and begged for a role as badly as I did, but he was told he "wasn't what they were looking for". I felt bad for him, so I bought him some beers at the local Tijuana donkey show and we've been carnales ever since.

This one was called Pepé's Cinco... (The premise is that Pepé couldn't afford 11 like Danny Ocean could, so he was gonna try to do the job with just 5). The others were part of his gardening business, but also had skills conducive to heisting, plotting, robbing, and shenanigans in general.

In this movie Pepé assembles a ragtag group of con-artists/jardineros to rob El Banco De Mejico...

Here are Pepé's supporting cast in his bank heist (L to R)-

Gustavo, "the accountant". Gustavo is good with numbers and his precision is used to calculate the intricate timing used to rob the bank - from the time the '88 nissan pickup rolls up to the bank and the crew jumps out from beneath the decoy gardening equipment to the time the cast tries to outrun the federales.

El Nak Dulce, the sweet talking con-man. Nak Dulce sweet talks the bank tellers into tours of the money vault, the cigar humidors and the room where they make all the useless trinkets that are sold on the street flea-markets of Tijuana and Rosarito. He also creates distractions later on in the plot by catching the eye of a flaming gay security guard with ballet not unlike that seen in the nutcracker, but also breakdancing reminiscent of Electric Boogaloo 2.

Suk Mi, "El Chino Cochino". Mr. Mi is a ruthless organized crime ring-leader, who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty to get the job done. Mr. Mi supplies most of the arsenal and also sets up the explosives used to blow open the door to the Peso repository. Also, for some reason Mr. Mi appears to be chinese or something, despite being "101% Mexican" as he states in the film.

Raindeer Wolfram, Digital Systems Expert. Raindeer is responsible for overriding the computer systems and security cameras (which at El Banco de Mejico is merely a webcam attached to an old Apple II E. For some reason, in a number of scenes, the Apple II E is used by El Presidente to play 'Oregon Trail' when it's not being used for security purposes)

Enter Pepé. Standing tall at 5'4" the fearless gardener syncs fake rolex's with his team and the mission begins.

El Presidente del Banco, the evil "Diablo Larco" then tries to thwart Pepé's plans.
He calls in his bodyguards and while Raindeer is busy cutting the power to the building, Nak Dulce and Suk Mi break into song and dance to distract the hired goons. The performance by this powerful duo is one to draw envy from such hits as High-School-Musical. Below is a shot from the dance scene that puts all Bollywood movies to shame.

The film starts out as a serious bank-robbing action thriller, but quickly degrades into a slapstick comedy. Shortly thereafter a guy in a bee-suit steals the show and before you know it the movie is over. As it turns out, that guy ended up getting most of the royalties... son of a bitch.

I'm gonna get you Rigoberto... I swear. I'll find you, hunt you down, and take what is rightfully mine...

But I digress. It's really a great flick, you should check it out sometime... However, you'd have to drive across the border because none of the American stations would pick it up... not even FOX.

Sí you next time. Alrato!

I <3 New Jersey

2008-03-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

People say New Jersey is America's armpit, but I don't think so. I love New Jersey. It's because the people there are so different. We have beaches here, while they just have "the shore" (more frequently pronounced "Da Shoah"). Also because New Jerseyans hate it that people think they either look like Bon Jovi, or Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, even though everyone in New jersey either looks like Bon Jovi, or Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Check out New Jersey's finest here, up in the club.

Now I know what you're thinking, "They all have the same fucking haircut!" Well, that may be true, but that just means they're all that cool. Here's another picture in case you still don't believe.

Another great thing about New Jerseyans is that they love their movies. And I don't mean like, oh I went and saw some movies and they were cool. None of that weak L.A. shit that goes on out here. They LIVE that shit.

Check out these guys who liked Charlie and the Chocolate Factory so god damned much, that they actually LIVE that shit -

I don't care what you say, nobody on the west coast has the balls to go THAT far to prove their fandom, even if it is a movie intended for a younger audience.

You know, I can't really even do NJ justice, so I think you just need to take it from my buddy who lives there. Here's a video of him... consider it like "A Day in the Life Of" or something.

That's about it. I think by now you realize how every state in America pales in comparison to good ole' Jersey (Joizee). Viva la Brick City!

P.S. I'm pretty sure this guy lives in NJ too -

February - The Month of Champions

2008-02-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

So it's been a long time since I last got down, but I still keep making these bloggish sounds. My shoulder has healed enough to raise my hand up to the keyboard, and thus I blog. Actually a friend of mine read my blog, liked it and told me to update it.

I'll have you know, that for added effect, I'm blogging in a cowboy hat, boots with spurs (that also have jingly bells tied to said spurs) and assless chaps....
No, that's it... were you waiting for more?

Anyhowitzer, I'm done with fucking school and on to school fucking. I dunno what that means, but ultimately it means that I have more free time and I'm ready to go be the only 80 yr old who looks like a 12 yr old, who's looking for 21 yr olds at all the bars, clubs, house-parties, and karaoke dive bars around. Mashugunah.

If you live in the south bay and aren't an old dirty man posing as a young 20's female woman, then let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore. I promise it won't get as crazy as my b-day party at Mr. Pockets.

P.S. - I hate your face, you grandma's boy.

Trying to Survive to See 2008

2007-11-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written in this shit in almost year. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?
Anyway, I'm taking 3 classes and trying to do my thesis during the few hours I'm not working full-time. Technically I'm full-time + thesis at school and full-time at work.

I have time to write this only because I'm boxing up my shit in my office to move into a dungeon. I feel bad because my officemate John Silny is probably going to get a grade-A d-bag for a new officemate, but not much I can do about that.

I just got off crutches for a stress fracture, and am getting no sleep until I'm done in mid-December with school. Then a few days after my last final I get to go in for shoulder surgery to repair my labrum / rotator cuff / capsule.

While this has been the worst 6-months of my life, I can only hope for the best once 2008 hits. Hopefully then I'll be able to rehab my shoulder without having a metric-shit-ton of schoolwork to worry about.

Peace out
-the nak

In the year 2000... and 7

2007-02-12T14:48:00.000-08:00

Stuff

Halfway done, still rockin' the Four-O.

Play tennis at alta vista a lot now.

Should be preparing my presentation for tomorrow instead of doing this.

Hold on I need to fill in something on my timecard... OK Done.

Finally got started on procrastination of the construction of a voice acting demo reel.

Continuing said procrastination of demo reel.

Looking for new rotation at work.

Listening to internet radio on Pandora right now.

Want to get Macbook or Macbook Pro once OS X Leopard releases.

I make a white tie, white shirt, dark suit combo look good.

3 and 2

2006-11-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

So I played in the Top Gun Tennis Tournament this weekend, which is a sanctioned USTA event.

I heard people sandbag hardcore in this tournament (from one of the people who helps run it). Well I played one of those dudes and lost in the first round, 6-3, 6-2.
He's in the semifinals and beat some seeded player to get there.
I think he should probably have been playing a level up. Oh well.
At least I got a sweatshirt out of it.

School is getting old and I wish I was done with it already, but alas I am not.

The only thing I have to look forward to are the nights I get to play tennis.
I wish it was 2 hours later already so I could be playing right now.

Anyways, thats about it

Spacelog -=- Sept. 19

2006-09-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

Son of a bitch.
I guess my life is so retarded that there's no need to blog about it.
All I do is work full-time, go to school part-time, and play tennis in between.

So yea. Nothing to write about.

Although I was thinking I should start a website where I just verbally blast something once a week. I know I could come up with a weekly complaint, in fact I think I'd be pretty good at it. Hmm food for thought. And thought for food, cuz I'm starving

So soon?

2006-07-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Anyone in the Bioinformatics world or into Open Source Free Software for taking XML and an XSD or DTD and coverting that to a relational database, and being able to query, or convert that into GenMAPP databases should go take a look see here:

XMLPipeDB

or on Sourceforge:
XMLPipeDB on SF

This is where it's hosted for the moment, it might get a real domain name some day.

P.S. Anyone else tired of struggling to move on up to the "next" east-side only to find that you're still a buck short and a day late? Life blows, too bad I'm not a character on 12 oz. mouse... or am I?

July 06 god dammit, i suck at this

2006-07-10T23:13:00.000-07:00

Yummy down on this...
I seem to have forgotten about this whole bidness yet again. Well, I'm 3 of 10 classes down towards my M.S. and I still have a 4.0 somehow, so whoever has been bribing my professors for me, many thanks.

I'm still trying to dream up a logistically feasible and marketable business plan, but in the meantime I'm rolling on at the war-machine. There have been 210 engineers laid off, and rumors of a second round coming though.

On a related note, I'm trying to find a light colored solid or pinstripe blazer somewhere, so if you know of any, lemme know fool.

I also just installed Ubuntu Linux Dapper Drake dist on an old old desktop I had that I wasn't using, and it's fucking awesome. Linux is the shit, but I always knew that I just never did shit about it until now. If I had some shit that wasn't 21935909234 years old I would try dropping the 686 kernel (or k7 kernel for AMD) up in there, but I don't so I can't so I won't. Besides computers are for nerds and I'm not smart enough to be a nerd.

For any of you who know Steven G. you'll be happy to hear that he's 99% sure to be moving back and working in Santa Monica (1 diagonal block from where I worked during the summer of 2000 as an intern at a video game company called Player1). He'll probably be living somewhere near Santa Monica with his boyfriend Emelio Estevez. He'll also, no doubt, be wearing a fedora when he does so.

So I guess thats it mofos, I'm out like Eazy E.

Loyola Marymount University

2006-01-07T23:38:00.000-08:00

Seriously, Ive been meaning to post something here for a while but it seems like Ive been busy with everything else, and it is said that life is what happens while youre too busy making other plans.

So while Ive been neglecting any new blog material, Ive been busy with what life has been keeping me busy with. I see that I already posted about the Engineering Rotation Program, and if you didnt know Ill be in Japan for the better half of March 2006. The japanese are actually coming on monday so we can start training them on how to use the test stations that were shipping there in March.

However on Tuesday, January 10th 2006, Ill be starting my first day of classes at LMU where I will begin working towards my Masters in Computer Science in the LMU Electrical Engineering and Computer Science Dept.I am both excited and apprehensive about returning to school. While there are new and challenging events to look forward to, it will also be a whole shitload of work. Ill be working the usual 45-50 or even 60 hours a week, but also taking 2 classes a semester when possible. So I guess Ill have to kiss the social life goodbye.

Anyways I just thought- Oh shit I havent posted in my blog in forever... maybe I should write something... What should I write about? I guess Ill write about going back to grad school... and that is how we have arrived at the present.
Thats it.

Oh, that and I gave myself a haircut last night and now I have a mohawk and I was gonna cut it tomorrow night before I go back to work so as to not look like a totally unprofessional asshole and then I changed my mind and decided that Ill probably just keep it and just go to work all week and look like a totally unprofessional asshole. Ill just wear some nicer clothes or something. Logging off - the nak

P.S. IF YOU PLAY TENNIS IN THE SOUTH BAY, GET AT ME, IM ALWAYS DOWN TO PLAY - NTRP 4.0-6.0

Just cuz its about that time bitches

2005-10-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

You asked for it, or you didnt... either way youre gonna get it motherfuckers, and that is a blast from the past

blau! tadow! I just took you fuckers back to 1997 / 1998 or some shit.

Thats it. Catch you on the flaccid side my limpers

Holy FUckiN shit Batman!

2005-10-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

The Nak is back. Back in black with some sugar on his back. This shit is some shit. Last post April 2005, kawt dayamn! Well the only new online happenin's be MySpace, and it is My Space.
here bitches

My Spaces & Places

So what the fuck is up young pups.

Nothing new at work except more bean counters taking status.
Also Ill be going into the Engineering Rotation Program after JF-15
is over... yeeeep.

Marlon has been in Japan gettin all that he can, which is 2 in the bush and none in his hand. Steve G and Mike B is on the east coast, and everyone is scattered around n shit. Anyways yea, yet again Ive run out of material.

Check out my profile, I wrote it and I still made me wet me own pants reading what me wrote. Im off the air.

Real Philosophy Jazz

2005-04-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

It ain't funny that you can't make up lost time,
But you can get money of a quarter from a penny and a dime

Frustration Demonstration

2005-03-18T15:51:00.000-08:00

"I am Jack's smirking revenge."

Enter The Nak, in office, contemplating previous day's performance review with his supervisor

The Nak is dissatisfied with his performance review. He feels hot, thirsty, weary, complacent, but worst of all he feels cheated. The supervisor spoke whimsically of new hires; their unabashed zeal for their work, the challenges that they accepted and labored at, the mistakes they all made and in turn, learned from. The Nak purses his lips and tightens his jaw. He had made no mistakes since hiring on; he had never had the luxury of starting slow and learning as he went along. He had been thrown into the fire, been given tasks that 15 year veterans were unable to complete, be made to learn hardware on the fly- and he had succeeded in all aspects. Why then, did he smile and nod while the supervisor continued to vomit meaningless banter about erroneous newbies and their growing pains, seeing how none of this applied to him? Maybe because the supervisor had effectively assured that him that he had the highest "C" in the department, so to speak, and that he expected great things from him in the future. But he knows that this is nothing more than spoon-fed bullshit... a manager's acquiescence of any possible retort that his employee may be pondering.
What then is The Nak to do? He feels angry, but not defeated or beaten at all. Perhaps all the hard work, prompt completion of assignments, and courteous aid to fellow employees that he has been happy to fabricate in the past should all go by the wayside. Perhaps if the department will reward those who have done less than half the work, then The Nak should accept his evaluation and start performing to a lesser level that is conducive to said evaluation- start doing even less than half the work.
But would it not be better to continue in virtue and resilience, to put forth an effort to shine even brighter, thus forcing the swine higher up in the food chain to give him recognition? Perhaps this is the case, perhaps it is not. The Nak continues to delve into the issue at hand as he clears the documents from atop his keyboard and continues the assignment he was working on when he was called into the review, his mind still hazy, and his decision not yet made...

To be continued in real fucking life...

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

Holy fuck Im really bad at updating this shit. My bad. Anyways today is valentine's day... yep...

On a related note, check out this other blog that is dedicated to white people and Kanji / Hanzi Tattoos that said white people cannot read.

I want one of these stupid tattoos
Good Times

Anime

2005-01-18T21:41:00.000-08:00

Anime is just the shit. If you know me, you know im not very asian, but I still recognize that anime gotz it shit dialed in... Now, some of you may be asking, "Holy iron testicles, batman - I want to watch Anime too, but I dont know what what, when, where, why, or how!"
You're also probably like wtf is this rash between my ballsack and my ass... but that is neither here nor there. So lube up bitches, cuz its go time.

Naruto

One Piece

Cowboy Bebop

Love Hina

Also, much love to the Family Guy

And there you have it. Shit you need to watch. Get on it.

Oh Yea, New Years Was Cool Too

2005-01-12T22:48:00.000-08:00

I forgot, I put up pictures from New Years.

Here's the Nak and the Daph

(Click on the purty picture to see all 23)

P.S. Check out the picture at the end with me and Amy (I believe her name was). I was so smashed that I didnt realize she wearing that shit until I saw these pictures the next day. What a damned shame.

The Blog Jammer

2005-01-05T16:22:00.000-08:00

Aright, sorry I aint give yall a ride on the Blog Jammer in quite some time. First I was busy with work, then went on winter break and had to the whole xmas shopping and stuff, hung out with the fam while they were around, etc. Then I got tired of all this blog-sense and bullshit about blogging. ABC named Bloggers in general people of the year and there were mad interviews about blogger people and stuff, and I didnt want to hear about blogs anymore for a bit. But now Im back for the first time and im dropping this one on ya...

...But I dunno what to blog about. Guess Ill have to pick a card, any card off the top of my head... hmmmmmm

Ok, the best movie soundtrack ever made - The Nightmare Before Christmas
It was done by Danny Elfman and we all know what a badass he is. The pop-rock, alternative, punk, blah-blah culture can appreciate it as it is brought to us by the frontman for Oingo Boingo. The old ladies with monocles club culture can appreciate it because its got the grace of a musical - something dark, lets say Phantom Of The Opera. Then youve got people like me who can appreciate it because its the baddest fucking music this side of the river jahn, on sale today. Anyways, be hearin' it. Heres Skeleton Jack, King of the Pumpkin Patch.

Also- Sally looks like Alison Gerding. Im telling you man...
Heres a pic of Sally. This one doesnt really look like her that much, but watch the scene right before Sally jumps out from her window down to the street, to go give Jack a bottle.

Thats all for today kiddies.
P.S. Jack Skellington Rocks your Face Off... and your socks.

Doubleheader - Brewers go 2-0 for Championship

2004-12-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

Today the Brewers took both games in a doubleheader to win the League Championship. Game One started at 9:30 AM, and the Brewers put up 6 straight runs with 2 outs in the 6th inning to win 7-0. Eric Fierro pitched 6 shutout innings in the start on the mound. The Brewers came out strong in Game 2 with 2 HRs in the third to go up 5-1, before giving up a few runs to let the lead slip to one. The game would be close up until the top of the eighth, when the Brewers went up 11-6. They would not relinquish the lead. By 4:30, the Brewers had the Championship trophy in hand. The Brewers finish the season with a 17-2 overall record.

The Brewers now have the option of competing with other League Champions from all throughout California, an option that Manager Beto Juarez has yet to accept or decline.

League Champion Brewers - (Click for larger pic)

League Champion Brewers - All Smiles (Click for larger pic)

Luakaha Mokupuni ka O'ahu

2004-12-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

"The Beautiful island of O'ahu". Thats where Ive been for the past 9-10 days, and hence the lack of recent posts. So here you go. Oahu. It truly is a paradise if youre into the whole great weather, great food, great people, great environment thing...
Ala Moana Bowls kicked my ass at 8-10 footers w/ occasional 12, all the while the North Shore (where i had watched the triple crown of surfing earlier in the day) was like 6-8 w/ 10s. Go figure. The reason i got so beat down was I was using an old thick ~7 ft "shortboard" that i borrowed that had never been used. It was too heavy to duck-dive, and when i tried to turtle it just caught most of the wave and slipped out of my hands. So paddling out was one hell of a workout... a scary one at that. Also scaring me, well more like startling me, was the huge sea turtle that popped out of the water to stare at me for a second while i was paddling in. Thing mustve been like 8 feet long, but it was a very beautiful creature.

Waikiki was cool too, very warm and sunny when we were on the beach there. It was esp. cool when the old dude who ran the surfboard shack let us "locals" (Me and Marlon) borrow some boards for free for a little bit after we offered to paddle the outrigger with him (his buddies disappeared so we didnt end up paddling it). I shouldve taken pictures of the sunburnt hau'oli tourists at Waikiki like in the opening of the cartoon Lilo & Stitch. Theres always next time I guess.

Kailua, on the North Eastern side of Oahu, was also very beautiful, though windier and cloudier at that time. Lanikai beach is there, which was voted the world's #1 beach by travel channel or something. I suggest you eat breakfast at Boot's & Kimo's if youre in that area, and try their invention - Pancakes w/ Macadamia Nut Sauce. Its the best breakfast ever... also I saw the main character doctor guy from Lost there. Good times.

I thoroughly enjoyed Oahu's beautiful rainforests, beaches, lookouts, historic/sacred grounds, and people. Ive been there a thousand times and every time its just as much fun as the last, if not more.

Anyways...

Click on the picture to see all 232 wonderfully wonderful pictures from the island of Oahu.

Shouts out to my new Cuz'ns: Maya Saffery and Kaleo Wong - 'Olua 'Ohana Holo'oko'a

TheFacebook.com

2004-11-21T23:52:00.000-08:00

Here little kiddies... on my lap
nak-nak here with a brand new rap
and i dont mean rap like saran wrap
poke me girl... and ill poke you back

Poke me and ill poke you back.
To Daphney Bitanga- Your friend aint got shit on me... Nor does King Kong or whoever. It's a poke-a-thon and The Nak is in first place. Note: If you are on thefacebook too, feel free to Poke Me.

Magnum XL

2004-11-20T19:28:00.000-08:00

"That's what im talkin about baby, thats what ive been waiting for..." -Maury Ballstein
"There it is..." - Hansel
"Dear God... It's beautiful..." - Mugatuakahashi
"..." - all
"Magnum XL..." - Marloneekus

I did it... (To see the rest of the hermosa pics click) *-= HERE =-*

cuz im a model.. you know what i mean.. and i do my little turn on the catwalk

2004-11-17T01:19:00.000-08:00

This is a tribute to my career as a male model... A really really ridiculously good-looking picture book if you will. I started modeling at age 15, as you can see in this Junior Lifeguard Photo Shoot...

At this young age I hadnt developed many looks yet. I was nowhere even near "La Tigre©", let alone close to developing "Magnum XL©". But I would soon learn...

I named this look "Blue Steel Jr.©" Its a softer look, mostly for catalog work, like this Josten's ad that would air later (and fail miserably, amidst a huge propoganda campaign by Caucasians Against Ethnic Male Models - CAEMM). They took back the CSF thing, the valedictorian braid, the tassle, cap, gown, and Jostens brand underwear. They made quite a scene.

This man- Juan Carlos Edguardo Salazar Estavez Cardinal III- became my modeling manager. He put together a photo portfolio for me, managed all my money and kept only 80% as a cut, and made me take very questionable nude photos. But he was a great manager for someone who couldnt speak english, and was very gentle. Here he is...

It became apparent that i would have to be a "face and body type" and not a hand model. I have a scar on my right knuckle from punching a kid with braces. A shame I know. Heres a low budget photo shoot pic from a small room in Tijuana. Tijuana studios dont have very good lighting, not even from lamps you have to hold for yourself.

(Right) Vegas- What happens in vegas, stays in vegas, shoot

Modelo Negro Shoot

Come Visit Saudi Arabia Campaign Shoot

Eventually my brother got into modeling as well. He had to workout to get to my level, of course. Heres some pics of him with still a long ways to go...

We even did a dual shoot for Just for Men's Wearhouse. We both used the original "Blue Steel©"...

Which brings us to today. Ill leave you with three shots from the Hermosa Derelict campaign, and the Nakstradamus Album Cover Art shoot.

Also lemme get a shout out to my Balls Models homies- Mugatuakahashi and Marloneekus.

Thanks to all my fans, and friends, and male-modeling family who supported me along the way. No thanks to investigatory journalists who dont care who they hurt, or how many people they leave dead and bloodied along the way, so long as they make a name for themselves as investigatory journalists.

Dave Chapelle is a genius

2004-11-15T01:06:00.000-08:00

"I'ma have botox done on my balls to get these wrinkles out...so my balls will be as smooth as eggs... pluck out all hair...and get a tattoo of ganster-ass faces with mean expressions...and grow the hair back so they have beards like me. Then im hittin the beach lookin for ball suckers"- Dave Chappelle, For What Its Worth

i wish i woulda thought of that first. I never planned on hitting the beach afterwards... fuckin genius...

stay tuned for pics from hermosa (maybe or maybe not similar to this one)

Shouts Outs Holmes

2004-11-11T17:55:00.002-08:00

Ok... lets try this again
Yo yo yo... bloggin it up for all my north-campus homies.
Shout outs to:
Slimy-Yu the crazy dieting chinaman who be gym-ing it up at lunchtime
to DC aka DChong, aka Lil Korean HotSauce, aka Krayjee, aka Chong-Hole, aka Nu Dong Ku Mo Bah Guh Suh
to V Diddy - the flying dutchman, aka JV, aka The Vene-man, aka the Minivan, aka not-so-big Red (if you know what i mean), aka the GZA/Genius
to MarlyWilkin's Son, aka Rumple-Wilk-skin, aka Cows-not-Calves
...im out this mugg

Curse you, Sir Blogger

2004-11-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Fuck you blogger- you fuckin piece of shit.
You just wiped out my entire blog that i was in the process of dropping, with shout outs to all my coworker homies and their 5-14 nicknames along with.

Fuck ->

You stupid piece of blog shit I hope someone flips you the bird while youre driving in your fucking car and you turn to try to give them the bird back but you slip on a cowpie in the middle of route-fucking-66 and go flying through the windshield of your faggot blog-gremlin into a MAC truck doing 95 going the other way and bounce off of it into another car carrying sulfuric acid in it and you fucking roll around in that shit burning your nuts off but then that car flips over throwing your stupid ass over a cliff through a huge patch of cactus (one having more thorns than your average cactii) then into a pit full of sharp obsidian rock but not killing you so that you can crawl your ass out of there only to get dragged 4 miles across desert terrain by foxes who picked up your filthy dying blogger carcass scent and leave you out in the boonies with nothing to eat or drink except for Arby's but you cant even eat that cuz you lost your wallet in the cactus patch not that that matters cuz your stupid blogger fuckstick ass dies right there and you float like a fairy up to blogger-heaven thanking sweet mary magdalene that your ordeal is over only to be turned away at the gates and get sent plummeting down through cloud air grass soil and bedrock straight into blogger hell where you may forever and ever and ever burn and rot away in eternal blogger hellfire until the end of time you piece of shit
...
wait, i forgot why i was pissed at blogger now and im too far down to read the beginning of my post. oh well im sure i had a good reason.
later

Male Modeling

2004-11-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

While I was growing up I always noticed I was really really good-looking. So I always wanted a career that would utilize my being really really extremely really good-looking. Thats when I realized that people in catalogs and commercials got paid, and that I too could make a living just by being really, really, really, very, extremely, ridiculously good-looking. Well, its time to give back to those who supported me. Mr. Chastek, YOUR work in this 2004 Chastek Hawaii Catalog... is what inspired me to be a male model. Thank You Mark Chastek, 1998 male model of the year...

Someone set us up the bomb. All your blog are belong to us...

2004-11-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

sup bitches, sup sluts, sup bitches & sluts...
today the nak had the day off of work. so he woke up at 11am ate lunch at chipotle with some way-back-when niggaz, bought a desoldering braid, met up with a kinda-way-back-when nigga ate dinner, dressed up, boned out for hollywood, the end.

jk...
jk about jk...
maybe...

P.S. I bought a pink trendy dress shirt and i will rock out with my cock out with my pink trendy dress shirt out.

(poor quality music made in the corner of an apt. loft with a 99¢ microphone while learning how to use mixing/editing/recording software HERE )

The Daily Grind

2004-11-04T11:30:00.000-08:00

Aright just gonna drop a quick blog, flush, then go back to wizzerk. Thats how the world wizzerks people fuckin wizzerk.
Im currently enclosed in an office dwelling with a Korea-man and a China-man. Sometimes a Samahang Pilipino Man comes into my office to write kanji on paper, give it to me, and then leaves without saying a word. Usually it reads "Shine" (shee-neh) which means - die.
Today Im going to rock the casbah, i mean rock the vote, i mean go shoot around or play some basketball after work or some shizzlebox. I wouldve gone surfing but now the fuckin sun goes down at like 2PM, i swear its like sweet fuckin christ im finishing up my lunch hour and watching the god damned sunset at the same time. And a Naka gotta work till ilke 5 or 6. Its maaaaadnesss bitches.
Shit. Its go-time. Guess Id better get back to engi-mah-neering stuff. Later Skater Haters.

P.S. You <3 Naka-bees

A pic, or not a pic?

2004-11-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

So this should be a pic of a ~~Naruto-like Sharingan thingie~~
BADASS MULLET OF MULLETUDE 9 OR MORE

...and it is BITCH

The NAK (Act 1, Scene 1)

2004-11-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

[Enter the Nak]

NAK: Sup Howdy, Neeya'z. Blog 1. So Im bummed that this piece of ass doesnt do image hosting and you have to host elsewhere and link. Thats a big lame. Oh fuckin well. I guess therell be more to come later.

Guy: Age/Sex check?

[NAK murders random fuck for interrupting him on his own god damned blog, for fucks sake]

NAK: Right then. See you next time pigfuckers, same place... for some good ole fashioned Cowboy Bebop.