I Ain't a Hater Like You, So Bow Down to a Utensil That's Greater Than You
You know, I feel like there's a bigtime underground player out there that doesn't get the love and respect he deserves. Once a major player on the field, topping the charts, piling up the stats, being talked about at the water cooler and in social circles amongst the youth. It's time to revive this bad boy from the dead...
You're probably thinking you know where I'm going,
You: "oh yea man, Tupac been down for years."
Nak: "Nawwww son."
You: "Aww shii... Notorious B.I.G.!"
Nak: "Naw duuu... I'm talking bout the mothafuckin' SPORK bitch."
That's right, the spork. You know everybody who was ANYBODY was eating their lunch with a spork back in elementary and middle school. All those zealous campers who wanted the power of two utensils in one sleek, shiny, can't-fuck-with-me utensil knew what was up.
If you aren't in the know with the spork, first slap yourself in the face. No harder, you deserve worse for your ignorance. OK, now educate yourself bitches:
Da' SPORK
Do I need to draw you a picture? Here...
(P.S. Pay no attention to the sausage-fingered toolbox who is holding the spork. He probably doesn't even deserve to hold a spork, but there's nothing I can do to stop him because I don't know wtf he is, the picture has already been taken, and he may be halfway to Germany by now for all I know. Just give it up, OK? It's too late now)
In conclusion, the spork is poised to run the mothafuckin' game from here on out. So fuck non-spork utensils as a staff, record-label, AND as a muthafuckin' crew... and if you wanna be down with non-spork utensils, fuck you too. Regular fork... fuck you too... Spoon and knife, fuck you too... fuck all yall muthafuckaz... my 44 make sure all yo' utensils dont grow. You motherfuckers cant be us or see us. We fucking thug spork riders, spork-side till we die!
Él Fín.
You're probably thinking you know where I'm going,
You: "oh yea man, Tupac been down for years."
Nak: "Nawwww son."
You: "Aww shii... Notorious B.I.G.!"
Nak: "Naw duuu... I'm talking bout the mothafuckin' SPORK bitch."
That's right, the spork. You know everybody who was ANYBODY was eating their lunch with a spork back in elementary and middle school. All those zealous campers who wanted the power of two utensils in one sleek, shiny, can't-fuck-with-me utensil knew what was up.
If you aren't in the know with the spork, first slap yourself in the face. No harder, you deserve worse for your ignorance. OK, now educate yourself bitches:
Da' SPORK
Do I need to draw you a picture? Here...
(P.S. Pay no attention to the sausage-fingered toolbox who is holding the spork. He probably doesn't even deserve to hold a spork, but there's nothing I can do to stop him because I don't know wtf he is, the picture has already been taken, and he may be halfway to Germany by now for all I know. Just give it up, OK? It's too late now)
In conclusion, the spork is poised to run the mothafuckin' game from here on out. So fuck non-spork utensils as a staff, record-label, AND as a muthafuckin' crew... and if you wanna be down with non-spork utensils, fuck you too. Regular fork... fuck you too... Spoon and knife, fuck you too... fuck all yall muthafuckaz... my 44 make sure all yo' utensils dont grow. You motherfuckers cant be us or see us. We fucking thug spork riders, spork-side till we die!
Él Fín.
posted by The Nak at 12:59 AM
3 Comments:
damn son. big shout out to all the spork sportin' fools out on the west side.
of the world, bitch. cause i'm all up in the east side of this muthafucka. we don't use forks. we don't spoons. shit. we use two fucked up cylindrical, pole-like, not-in-any-way-similar-to-or-as-practical-or-easy-to-use-as-the-spork type whatchamacallitz.
people here call them ohashi. and if you are eco-friendly, on a daily basis, you carry on your person "my hashi." shit. maybe i should start carrying a "my spork."
Carry that shit on a chain and wear an Oni mask while you're at it. If they're not smart enough to know that the spork means youre a badass, the Oni mask will get the point across
biggie(well in ur case smalls) remember when I used to let you sleep on my couch? Now u beg the bitch to let u sleep in the house... You claim to be a rapper but I sporked your wife
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