Complain Train - Kiss My Caboose
I'm talking about Mickey Fucking Avalon. I mean, for fuck's sake... I don't even know what to say. I've heard multiple women talk about this guy being hot, and it's kind of gross. I mean, here:
If ingrown hairs and body and face acne turn you on, I guess I can see it... But if you ask me that's just fucking nasty.
I mean, if you can genuinely be turned on by the thought of looking down between your legs and seeing this guy down there, well congratulations. You probably already had crabs and the clap, now you have Herpes too. But that probably also turns you on.
Hi, I'm "Domestic Abuse Raggedy Anne" and I want to give you an STD cocktail!
On top of that, he has a song called "My Dick"... I won't go into anymore detail than to say the lyrics of the song are about -10% true. I remember seeing this Boost mobile commercial with some real hip-hop artists in it - Jermaine Dupri and Young Jeezy, and then all of the sudden they bring in Mickey Fucking Avalon as if he fits the gangster rapper mold. To top it off, he looks gayer and more non-hip-hop than anyone ever could have made him look if they were actually trying. It was really something else. Here's the video:
Oh, hold on someone is knocking at the door.
(Hello Satan... oh sorry Mickey... I... thought you were someone else)
Hey guys, look... I gotta go. There's someone at the door and he's mad. He's also wearing makeup, smells of B.O., has dirty long red hair, has no shirt on to hide his feminine torso, and is wearing tight jeans sagged down to his worm. I'll catch up with you guys later.