Who's Underwear is Under There
When I first heard UnderArmour™ I thought it was some kind of brief with padding in the balls area, not some tight shirt. I was thinking about this one day a cpl yrs back and thought about the underwear i used to wear as a kid and the underwear i wear now (on those days where I do wear underwear).
Why do little kids get to wear awesome underwear and we adults are stuck wearing these boring ass plain underwear. We get boxers or briefs in regular colors. At least girls have some variety in their choices - boxers, boxer-briefs, briefs, grandma panties, thongs, g-strings, assless chaps, etc.
The time for the listless cotton oppression of my genitals must end... I want to wear those cool underwears that I had as a kid... with Spiderman... or He-man... or Superman... or your mom's face, on it. Those were the good old days. Just because I'm not a kid anymore, doesn't mean I can't appreciate having a superhero on my jock, literally.
Then again... when I was a kid I didn't have to worry about whether or not getting a boner and having a half-mast stiffy firmly pressing against Skeletor's face would make me feel gay...
Shit... I didn't think about this possibility. But I'm also not about to let my dream of wearing superhero underwear again fall by the wayside. Not this easily. OK. OK... what if - I wear... WONDERWOMAN UNDERWEAR! That's even gayer isn't it. Well fuck me gently.
OK, the plan is on hiatus for now... but not laid to rest. We'll figure this out people. Until then, I'll try to find some Lucas. It's delicious. And a staple in the barrio. Act like you know son.
Why do little kids get to wear awesome underwear and we adults are stuck wearing these boring ass plain underwear. We get boxers or briefs in regular colors. At least girls have some variety in their choices - boxers, boxer-briefs, briefs, grandma panties, thongs, g-strings, assless chaps, etc.
The time for the listless cotton oppression of my genitals must end... I want to wear those cool underwears that I had as a kid... with Spiderman... or He-man... or Superman... or your mom's face, on it. Those were the good old days. Just because I'm not a kid anymore, doesn't mean I can't appreciate having a superhero on my jock, literally.
Then again... when I was a kid I didn't have to worry about whether or not getting a boner and having a half-mast stiffy firmly pressing against Skeletor's face would make me feel gay...
Shit... I didn't think about this possibility. But I'm also not about to let my dream of wearing superhero underwear again fall by the wayside. Not this easily. OK. OK... what if - I wear... WONDERWOMAN UNDERWEAR! That's even gayer isn't it. Well fuck me gently.
OK, the plan is on hiatus for now... but not laid to rest. We'll figure this out people. Until then, I'll try to find some Lucas. It's delicious. And a staple in the barrio. Act like you know son.
posted by The Nak at 9:15 PM
1 Comments:
You should wear "thumbelina", "7 dwarfs", "little red riding hood", or "mini-mouse" - something a long those lines.. Cause then when you get that stiff, you will feel large in comparison to the characters you so proudly conceal.
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